Ok well it has been since October since I have written a blog, but I now think it is time. I am sure many of you have seen the post on my Facebook and have had questions. The truth is really I don't owe anyone an explanation for what is going on, but you are all my friends for a reason and I would like to share a little bit of what is going on.
Heath and I have been married 9 years and it to say the least has been a very trying time for both of us. We met when I pretty much had gotten out of high school and he had just got in the army stationed at Ft. Campbell. We were really young and only dated for a year before we were married and had our first child, Mason. Heath did his army thing and all of you know got injured in 2003. He def came back a different person physically and mentally. Those of you that have husbands or wives in the military know when they deploy and especially for as many times and as long as they have been gone, they change, rather they get hurt or not. I have been begging Heath for the last 7 years to please go get help. He was great in front of people, but what is behind close doors you do not see. He was very bitter and angry as what we probably all would have been. I took the yelling and anger and let, well i thought get it out of his system. Here we are 7 years later still going through the same battles.
I have decided that it is time for me to take care of me.. I have supported him in every single thing he has wanted to do and all of you that know us, I hope have seen that. I am extremely proud of all the things he has accomplished and will continue to do with his life. I have decided to leave Heath and make a name for myself and be completely and whole heartedly happy. I think I deserve that, I think we are all put on this earth to have unconditional happiness and it is up to ourselves to find it. I am not saying that it will be easy all the time, but is it worth a try. There are of course other variables playing in this decision, but that I will not share for our families sake.
I hope that all of you please be respectful of my decision to do this. I have had many nights staying awake and crying over this and I just want to be happy for myself and especially my kids. I need to continue to be a strong role model for them. We are keeping all of this civil and we are taking care of the kids needs to help them transition through this all. They seem to be taking this really well which helps me. Thank you all who have supported me and him through our time together and also through the times we are having now. I now know that I truly have the best friends in the world and for that I wanted to share this with you all.
Tiffany
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
Next Chapter of My Life
Hmmm..... How do I start out, when for the past 9 years have literally been so hectic, confusing, exciting, fulfilling, priceless and yet I want more. I sit here at my kitchen table today blogging for the first time and thinking to myself, what is next for me. You see I worked for a non profit for over 5 years and recently in the past 5 months quit. I loved my job and what I did. I loved working with the spouses, parents, brothers and sisters of wounded warriors, but I kind of felt as if morally I had no choice, that aside, I am a bit confused. I find myself constantly running in circles trying to figure out what it is I am supposed to do and what I was meant to do. Well I have lots of ideas, I don't have a clear path. Here are some of my thoughts....
1. I want to continue to work with Caregivers of WW, which I am hopeful of
2. I want to go back to school
3. I want to start a business and I have one in mind
4. I want to start a band and sing
5. I want to be a basketball coach
Hmmm... You see they are really all a passion for me, and I see it so clearly in my head me doing all of the above. The biggest problem is I don't know where to start. I am nervous and skeptical about all of them and how they will affect my family. Going back to school is one of the more logical things, but with Heath gone so much and me not bringing in any income its hard. I am sure many of you can relate to that. I still have student loans to pay off as well.
I am working on my Caregivers thing and hopefully it will work out for me.. I am very excited and this I can do from home and help others.
I want to start a indoor entertainment center for children really up to 13. The biggest problem with that is the funding to back it. I think it could be a really big deal here in Clarksville, especially for parties and winter time.
Now to my two biggest passions basketball coach and singing. I play on a rec league and love it and I can still hang. I know basketball up and down and I think I have a lot to offer young kids. It would also leave an impression on young children and the importance of sports, grades, team, and discipline, and physical activity. I hope that I get to coach my girls in basketball, but my ultimate goal is high school.
Singing, I have done my whole life. It has been my saving grace . When I felt bad or going through tough times in my life, there was nothing better than putting on a CD and singing. I sang in choir and in church and loved it. Here recently I have sang a little more and singing Karaoke. I love the feeling of getting on stage, but I have always thought I was an OK singer, until the Beaver Country Idol. I auditioned and made it and got to record a song in the studio and was not nervous at all. It played on the radio and got great responses from it. That really boost my spirits about singing in from of a couple hundred people. When that time came, I was nervous until I hit the stage and sang the first note and then it all just came out with out any effort. Even though I did not win, I feel like a winner for even getting up there. I had people coming up to me telling me they thought I should have won, and two little girls were running up to me upset that I had not won. I even had a family sitting behind my mom who I guess really like my voice and called two of his friends that are producers and we talked.
I just want to sing I don't want to get big, so I say now, but if I do I wont complain. I want to start a band, but don't know how to do that either. So if you know of anyone that wants to play let me know.. LOL.
Neways the whole point of this blog is I need to do a lot of soul searching and pick one or two things an work towards them. I have connections, but utilize them. By the end of my life I hope to have accomplished all of my goals above and raise a family. I let you know as they come up.. Until then I hope you guys continue to read and follow along my crazy life and get to know the woman with many faces!!!!
1. I want to continue to work with Caregivers of WW, which I am hopeful of
2. I want to go back to school
3. I want to start a business and I have one in mind
4. I want to start a band and sing
5. I want to be a basketball coach
Hmmm... You see they are really all a passion for me, and I see it so clearly in my head me doing all of the above. The biggest problem is I don't know where to start. I am nervous and skeptical about all of them and how they will affect my family. Going back to school is one of the more logical things, but with Heath gone so much and me not bringing in any income its hard. I am sure many of you can relate to that. I still have student loans to pay off as well.
I am working on my Caregivers thing and hopefully it will work out for me.. I am very excited and this I can do from home and help others.
I want to start a indoor entertainment center for children really up to 13. The biggest problem with that is the funding to back it. I think it could be a really big deal here in Clarksville, especially for parties and winter time.
Now to my two biggest passions basketball coach and singing. I play on a rec league and love it and I can still hang. I know basketball up and down and I think I have a lot to offer young kids. It would also leave an impression on young children and the importance of sports, grades, team, and discipline, and physical activity. I hope that I get to coach my girls in basketball, but my ultimate goal is high school.
Singing, I have done my whole life. It has been my saving grace . When I felt bad or going through tough times in my life, there was nothing better than putting on a CD and singing. I sang in choir and in church and loved it. Here recently I have sang a little more and singing Karaoke. I love the feeling of getting on stage, but I have always thought I was an OK singer, until the Beaver Country Idol. I auditioned and made it and got to record a song in the studio and was not nervous at all. It played on the radio and got great responses from it. That really boost my spirits about singing in from of a couple hundred people. When that time came, I was nervous until I hit the stage and sang the first note and then it all just came out with out any effort. Even though I did not win, I feel like a winner for even getting up there. I had people coming up to me telling me they thought I should have won, and two little girls were running up to me upset that I had not won. I even had a family sitting behind my mom who I guess really like my voice and called two of his friends that are producers and we talked.
I just want to sing I don't want to get big, so I say now, but if I do I wont complain. I want to start a band, but don't know how to do that either. So if you know of anyone that wants to play let me know.. LOL.
Neways the whole point of this blog is I need to do a lot of soul searching and pick one or two things an work towards them. I have connections, but utilize them. By the end of my life I hope to have accomplished all of my goals above and raise a family. I let you know as they come up.. Until then I hope you guys continue to read and follow along my crazy life and get to know the woman with many faces!!!!
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